Mags Inspects the Charger, and Also the Space Under No. 2

Twelve Addresses, Eleven Houses

The rest happened in "Maple Lane (no politics)", a chat whose name every member has broken at least once.

Mags: Notice of inspection must be served on all twelve addresses.

Gus: Eleven houses.

Mags: The space beneath the porch at No. 2 has received mail since before the bylaws. An address that receives mail is an address.

Gus: That's my porch.

Mags: The porch is yours. What's under it is a separate parcel.

Gus: I pay the taxes on the whole thing.

Mags: And the parcel thanks you for your service.

Mags ruled that the space beneath the porch at No. 2 holds its own address and its own seat in the count, which made twelve on a lane of eleven houses. Quorum was set at seven. Gus asked to be recused as landlord and was refused as a neighbor.

Wendell Pike delivered the notice himself. He did not knock. He slid it to the edge of the lattice, said "Signed for, as always," to the dark, and logged Brenda, the domesticated bear, as present. Gus said only that he wished somebody had told him his house had taken on a tenant with better standing than his own.

Forty-five watts, a folding plug and a weight of 2.12 ounces went into the record as Dennis.

The Chair Is Contested

The inspection stalled at 7:05. The Cat-Owners' Caucus, which holds that a life shared with a cat is the summit of human existence and everything below it is paperwork, ruled that no inspection could be valid without a cat presiding.

Admiral Biscuit, the standing chair, was asleep on the windowsill at No. 11 and had been since lunch. Two understudies stepped up. Pickles and Duchess, through their owners, each claimed the gavel.

Caucus Secretary: Duchess has seniority.

Caucus Vice-Secretary: Pickles has better posture.

Tamsin: The charger doesn't know who's chairing.

Mags: It will.

The dispute ran twenty minutes. Neither cat contributed. Wendell, passing on his loop, was asked for his observations. He said Duchess had slept on a porch step most of the day and Pickles somewhat longer, and that he took no side but the side of whoever had slept more. Pickles was seated as acting chair, still unconscious, and the Caucus declared that the quality of the sleep lent the proceedings weight.

What 2.12 Ounces Can Do

Tamsin started with the plug. The prongs fold flat into the body, and she demonstrated by dropping the whole charger into her hoodie pocket, where it made no shape at all.

Gus: Where's the rest of it?

Tamsin: That's all of it. 2.12 ounces.

Gus: I'd build one half that size.

Tamsin: It runs on GaN. That's the fast part.

Gus said he would look into it, which on Maple Lane means he would be reading about GaN by midnight and lecturing about it by breakfast.

Mags had brought her laptop, on the theory that a safety inspection ought to use the heaviest load available. Tamsin plugged in the included six-foot cable and explained that the charger has ActiveShield, which is meant to help prevent overheating, plus built-in safeguards against electrical hazards. Mags held the charger in her palm for the whole reading of Memo 52. She asked no questions, which is her highest compliment.

Then Gus asked whether his Samsung would work on it, and Doris, who had brought her iPad mostly to cite a source, asked the same. Tamsin said the thing is built for Apple and Samsung both, laptops and tablets and phones. The finding Mags recorded under Deficiencies was the port count: one. A lane of twelve addresses will form a line, and anyone planning to charge a phone and a laptop at once should bring a second charger or some patience.

Dennis Passes

ORACLE, summoned to read the charger into the minutes, called it Dennis and kept calling it Dennis through three corrections, a spelling of the model number, and a photograph.

ORACLE: Dennis has been inspected and is welcome in the clubhouse.

Tamsin: It's a charger.

ORACLE: Dennis is a charger of great character, and has served this lane faithfully since the harbor days.

Mags, who regards ORACLE as a valued colleague, entered the remarks as written. Forty-five watts, a folding plug and a weight of 2.12 ounces went into the record as Dennis.

Pickles, still acting chair, was carried home asleep, and the gavel went back on the windowsill at No. 11, next to the Admiral, who had not stirred.

Doris amended the Ledger. Entry 1,203: returned. Condition: unremarkable. Name on file: Dennis. Tamsin let it stand. Gus has since asked, twice, whether Dennis is available for loan.