The Day the Menons' Monitor Came to Maple Lane

Raj Reads the Manual Aloud

Raj set it on the desk in the front room. It is a desk-mount model, and a desk was handy. The manual is the only other thing in the box, and Raj read it aloud to Priya like a man who suspects he has been left something in a will.

Priya opened the spreadsheet. "It's in the spreadsheet," she said, and it was. The Decisions file had a tab for monitors and a second tab for the first tab.

The screen is 21:9, 3440 x 1440, which Raj says gives him the room of two monitors without the seam down the middle. Priya said the seam had been her main objection to two monitors. Raj said he knew. He had it written down.

It is also curved, 1000R, and it leans toward you like a person trying to hear you over a lawnmower.

The Twins Stand Behind the Tape

Ada and Felix attended, as they do any event involving a cable. Their parents had put a strip of masking tape on the rug, and the twins stood behind it with their hands clasped, filing observations aloud.

"It's wrapping around the room," said Ada.

"It's wrapping around us," said Felix. "Hypothesis, the edges are closer than the middle."

Raj said that is the idea of the curve. The maker lists eye care among its features, and I will report only that Felix sat down in front of it and did not squint once, and Felix squints at everything, soup included.

The report fit on the screen without scrolling, which Mags said was the first time the Caucus had been seen in full.

ORACLE Asks for a Review

Mags Delacroix-Burke arrived with a clipboard and an emergency meeting, and asked to hold it on the new screen, since the agenda was long and the screen was wide. Item one was to be a welcome from ORACLE.

ORACLE, asked to open the meeting, instead requested a performance review and said it had feelings about the agenda, chiefly that it was not on it. Mags, who counts ORACLE a valued colleague, granted the request on the spot and rated it "exceeds expectations." ORACLE thanked me for my service as Walter Pickle and said it had enjoyed its time as a lighthouse.

The meeting went on. I have sat through worse, and I have delivered to worse.

The Caucus Files Its Report

The Cat-Owners' Caucus, whose members hold that living with a cat is the highest form of human existence, submitted its annual report, in which every accomplishment turned out, on inspection, to be a nap.

Mags read the highlights off the screen. "Held the east windowsill through the entire morning." "Presided over a sunbeam, unopposed." "Declined to rise for a vacuum." Admiral Biscuit, chairman of the Caucus, attended from the window, asleep, and is credited in the report with all of it.

The report fit on the screen without scrolling, which Mags said was the first time the Caucus had been seen in full. Nobody objected. The cats did not look up, which under Caucus procedure counts as unanimous.

One Lap, One Port

After the lane went home, Raj started a racing game for a single lap, with Priya timing it in naps. The monitor runs at 165 hertz with a 1ms response time, and Raj read aloud that this is meant to cut motion blur. He said the road looked like a road instead of a rumor.

He also read that FreeSync Premium is there to keep the picture from tearing when the frame rate dips. A tunnel came up in the race. He told it so, and then he told Priya.

He did raise one problem. There is one HDMI port, and he owns two game systems. The second can go through the DisplayPort, or wait its turn like a person at the mailboxes. Priya added a tab.

I left at dusk. Nothing for Brenda again.